History of the Movies - 1903: "Alice in Wonderland"

HISTORY OF THE MOVIES: Alice in Wonderland
1903 by Cecil Hepworth

This thing is weird as shit!

The first cinematic adaptation of Lewis Carroll's batshit fairy tale and the first movie (as far as I can tell) to feature a Mad Hatter dunking a giant stuffed mouse into a cup of tea. 
This movie is strange too because so much of it looks like a modern production, mostly because Alice's face and the little boy Playing Cards' haircuts look strangely contemporary. 

It's almost unsettling, really.

It kinda zips right along, too. No real fat or downtime on this one. 

And, typical of the era, the creature designs are absolutely terrifying. The Frog Dudes are gonna keep me up at night maybe for the rest of my life.

If you watch this on YouTube, make sure you check out the color-tinted "restored" version. This is one of the many "lost" films from the turn of the century and the only print that exists is pretty well destroyed. The remaster at least cleans up some of the debris but the print is hopelessly torn up. 

They say about 70% of all films ever made are now completely lost to the ages, whether from only a few prints being produced in the first place that eventually were lost, destroyed, or recycled, or from a series of studio fires in Hollywood that wiped out most of film history. 

So watch these movies while you can! Scorsese ain't gonna be alive forever and more and more the crusaders who want to preserve all these old prints are losing interest or are moving towards digital/RED as the only medium that matters.

Moral of the story: Watch More Movies!!!

History of the Movies - 1902: "A Trip to the Moon"

HISTORY OF THE MOVIES: A Trip to the Moon

1902 by Georges Melies

One of the best-known silent films, right? It's as good as its reputation and solidified Melies' status as the greatest director of his era. Everything about this film was masterful, from the elaborate costumes and makeup to the mechanical moving sets to the backdrops that turned into props to the politically subversive script to the long-as-hell 15-minute runtime. It really has to be seen to be believed. It's currently streaming in HD on Netflix in both black & white and hand-painted color versions. Go watch it right now. It's one of the coolest things you're ever gonna see.

(score by AIR)

1902 Honorable Mention:
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS by Georges Melies (again!)

History of the Movies - 1901: "Kansas Saloon Smashers!"

HISTORY OF THE MOVIES: Kansas Saloon Smashers!

1901 by Edwin Porter

So begins Hollywood's obsessively racist misogynist lunkhead period that continues in earnest to this day. No surprise it comes straight from the Edison Lab. Fuck Thomas Edison.

This smear campaign "comedy" features a drunk Irish man and a bunch of hysterical women in a bar, as an actor playing Carrie Nation gets kicked out for causing a scene. Can't dumb white men drink in peace without all these women and minorities getting all up in their goddam business? 

Needless to say, this was a HUGE HIT with audiences.

It gets the 1901 designation not for any Cinematic innovations or anything like that. But because it was the first clear sign that rampant and unashamed racism and misogyny could sell some tickets. It's an important landmark in the History of Everything Wrong With Hollywood.

Pop Quiz: Has Adam Sandler watched this movie every day for the last twenty years or has he never heard of it?

1901 Honorable Mentions:

SCROOGE, or MARLEY'S GHOST by Walter R. Booth

THE BIG SWALLOW by James Williamson

History of the Movies - 1900: "The Enchanted Drawing"

HISTORY OF THE MOVIES: The Enchanted Drawing

1900 by J. Stuart Blackton

An early Vitagraph jawn from the Edison Laboratory gang, who were like the Elephant 6 of the dark ages of Cinema.

This little number features Blackton drawing a large face on a sheet of paper, then interacting with that face in wacky ways.

He draws a hat, then pulls the hat out of the drawing and puts it on his own head.
He draws a cigar in the face's mouth, then takes it and smokes it (and the drawing gets piiiiisssssed). 

Good little movie even though Fuck Thomas Edison.

1900 Honorable Mentions:

EXPLOSION OF A MOTOR CAR by Cecil Hepworth
ATTACK ON A CHINA MISSION by James Williamson
JOAN OF ARC by Georges Melies

History of the Movies - 1899: "The Devil In A Convent"

HISTORY OF THE MOVIES: The Devil In A Convent

1899 by Georges Melies

The 19th century goes out with a bang.

This completely bananas little movie is exactly what it looks like. The DEVIL SATAN, disguised as a priest, terrorizes a convent and unleashes the forces of weirdo darkness all over the place.

A giant frog, a Winsor McCay-style giant-mouthed demon head that spews out little devils and witches, and a finale that features a cameo by an enormous St. Michael who shows up to save the day.

Melies was at a fever pitch this year, also releasing his wildly popular CINDERELLA. He was owning the screen like no one else and, watching all these films put together, it's easy to see why he's one of the few 19th century filmmakers we're still talking about today. 

1899 Honorable Mentions:

A KISS IN THE TUNNEL by George Albert Smith

MOMIJIGARI by Tsunekichi Shibata

I'd Rather Watch

I’D RATHER WATCH

by Rosalie Kicks!

I’d Rather Watch: Tales From The Crypt

If I am in the mood to watch a bag of bones scurry across the television screen my choice will always be: Tales From The Crypt.

With the recent release of Jurassic World it got me thinking of a whole sack of reasons that I don’t want to view this video film.

1. Where is Sam Neill? How can you make a Jurassic Park movie without the King of the Dinosaurs/Geriatrics? Without Sam Neill the entire plot just goes to hell.

2. Where are the hipster nerds? Um, no Jeff Goldblum = no asses in the seats. Throw on a Tales From the Crypt… you never know who is going to pop into your living room. Big Star: Tom Hanks, Marty McFly and his mom, the Terminator, Mr. Orange, award winner Patricia Arquette, Billy Zane, BEAU! Bridges – the list goes on, so many greats.

3. Wait the Dinosaurs are not real? The Crypt Keeper is a REAL live skeleton and so were the dinosaurs in the first Jurassic Park. This so called new “dinosaur” movie has NO actual dinosaurs in it. Computer Graphic dependent, Hollywood has gotten really lazy… they can’t even wrangle a dinosaur anymore.

4. 124 minutes: In this length of time, I could watch 4! episodes of Tales From the Crypt. That is so much more AWESOMENESS and puns.

5. Who will save us from the raptors? Without Laura Dern everyone will die or have no arms – because the raptors will find you and eat you.

As I chug my way thru the Tales From the Crypt series my episode of recommendation is the 1991 classic: “Spoiled.”

Good Day.

Read more from Rosalie at sundaematinee.com

Musicjawn

“MANN”

by Neil Cleary-Trask

I am really excited to share this one. The idea for and planning of it's been kicking around for years, basically since I first heard The Knife's Silent Shout and thought "These songs would be great in a Michael Mann movie!"

The mix is basically a soundtrack to a Michael Mann movie that doesn't quite exist, though several of the tracks were chosen because they reminded me of specific cues/songs from his films (specifically, The Keep, Manhunter, and HEAT. See if you can guess which ones!)

Featuring: The Knife, Brian Eno & David Byrne, Rene Hell, Raime, Chris & Cosey, M83, Majeure, Harald Grosskopf, Stereo, Moby, Kyle Bobby Dunn, Fever Ray, Jon SPencer Blues Explosion, Manuel Göttsching, Lansing-Dreiden, Mohn, Michael Jackson, Chromatics, Vitalic, and Steve Hauschildt.

Download MANN (including printable artwork) here:

http://www.mediafire.com/download/u2jo8g15272pxd2/Mann.zip

Ant-Man

ANT-MAN
Peyton Reed, 2015

Synopsis:
Michael Douglas used to be Ant-Man but years of being Ant-Man (plus years of grieving/covering up a dark tragedy) have messed him up so he gets Paul Rudd to be Ant-Man. 

Review:

Marvel is absolutely knocking it out of the park recently. 

This Wasn't Worth $10

THIS WASN’T WORTH $10

Big Screen Bullshit of 2015

by Zooey X

5. Jupiter Ascending (2/5)

I’m sad to say this movie was a bomb, because I think the Wachowskis are brilliant, but it booombed. Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis? If these two clowns are the best for the job, maybe they should’ve just trashed the thing.

4. Avengers: Age of Ultron (3/5)

I thought this movie was going to be really dark and gritty, but Marvel/Whedon disappointed me yet again. The plot was all over the place and nothing really developed during what felt like a 5-hour movie. I snoozed right through this one.

3. Taken 3 (1/5)

The first Taken was terrible. The fact that there were two more of these mofos made is utter insanity to me. Liam Neeson, get back in that Lion suit.

2. American Sniper (1/5)

Two hours of propaganda brainwash. This one paints an unrealistic portrait of what it’s like to be a soldier for the American military. It understates Chris Kyle’s PTSD, idolizing him as a tough soldier who was just doing his job, when in reality this guy was a trigger-happy racist who killed a lot of innocent civilians and children.

1. 50 Shades of Grey (0/5)

The book “50 Shades of Grey” was originally a Twilight BDSM fan fiction. This was then, somehow, funded into a cinematic experience. Or, rather, soft-core-rapey-trash. I wish I could say more, but there’s no way I would stoop so low as to see this high-budget creep-fest.

(an American who disagrees with Zooey X’s review)