WHY CAN’T FRANKENSTEIN BE MY HALLOWEEN
MASQUERADE DATE?
by Rosalie Kicks!
Dead Dudes are RAD: there's Cary Grant, Gregory Peck, or Fred Astaire. But,
when it comes to the dreamiest dead guy the prize goes to: Frankenstein's
Monster.
Honestly, is there anyone more charming than ole' Frankie?
A sharp dresser, charismatic, a kind, misunderstood soul... he is a true
gentleman. Picture it! Grabbing a slice of pizza or sharing a milkshake
(two straws of course) with this gentle giant. A round of mini golf or
maybe a bowling game -- what a delight it would be to have this guy on your
arm.
You would never have to fear of getting cold, for his coat would
be able to wrap around you like a ginormous king size comforter. He would
never be late to pick you up since he would never stop following you around
like a puppy. Nor would you ever have to worry about him showing up in a
parka or sweatpants; he is always dressed to impress in his finest satin
suit... some could even argue he is funeral ready. Depending on your age, this
could be a good thing.
All he ever wanted was a friend and you can rest assured that a
date with Frankie would be extra special. No matter how much you eat, he
wouldn't judge. His appetite is massive, so go ahead and order the large
nacho platter for one. So what if you smell! Frankie will always smell of
wet dog mixed with vomit-- an odor that you will grow to appreciate. You have
to move?! No problem - this guy can lift huge pieces of furniture up and
over his head-- while smiling.
Why do all the great ones have to be dead?
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